What are the reasons why married people cheat?


What are the reasons why married people cheat?

There are many reasons why married people cheat. Over 40% of married couples are affected by infidelity, and despite the high percentage, most people say that cheating is wrong behavior.

What are the reasons why married people cheat?
married people cheating


  • Risk factors for marital infidelity

  1. Motivations according to sex
  2. Individual risk factors
  3. Risk factors in a relationship

  • The main reasons for infidelity

Risk factors such as personality disorders and childhood problems, as well as temptations such as social media and non-existent boundaries, increase the risk of cheating or being cheated on. Frustration in marriage is also a common trigger for infidelity.

Risk factors for marital infidelity Motivations according to sex Men are more adventurous than women and often seek more sex or attention. Men express their love in a more physical way, so sex becomes an important route to connection and intimacy.

When women cheat, they are often trying to fill an emotional void. Women often complain of emotional disconnection and a need to be cherished. Women are more prone to feel undervalued or disregarded than males, and they are more likely to seek the emotional intimacy of extramarital relationships.

An affair is often a "transition" for the woman as a way to end the relationship. She is looking to end the marriage and an affair helps her do that.

That's not to say that sexual satisfaction isn't a driver of affairs for both husbands and wives. Similarly, boredom in the marital relationship can cause both men and women to cheat.

There are a multitude of reasons or causes why men or women may engage in an extramarital affair, but certain risk factors—either with one of the individuals or with the marriage as a whole—increase the chances of it happening.

Individual risk factors

The general rule is that it takes two for everything, including an extramarital affair, but there are certainly exceptions. Individual factors that can increase the chance of infidelity include:

Addiction : Substance abuse problems, whether it's addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or something else, are clear risk factors. Alcohol, in particular, can lower inhibitions so that a person who would not consider an affair when sober can cross the line.

Attachment style : Some attachment styles, such as avoidant attachment or attachment insecurity, as well as fear of intimacy have also been analyzed in relation to the tendency to cheat. Low self-esteem and insecurity can increase the risk of an affair.

Childhood trauma: Childhood trauma (such as physical, sexual, or emotional abuse or neglect) is associated with a greater chance that a person will cheat.

Exposure to infidelity in childhood : Previous experience with infidelity can increase the risk of infidelity. A 2015 review found that children who are exposed to a parent's affair are twice as likely to have an affair themselves.

Mental illness : Some mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder, are a risk factor for infidelity.

Previous affairs : Studies show that those who are involved in an extramarital affair are three times more likely to repeat the behavior in the next relationship.

Psychological problems : Narcissistic traits or personality disorders are associated with a greater likelihood of cheating.

Sex Addiction : Certainly, sex addiction in a partner increases the chance that they will be dissatisfied with the sex part of their marriage and look elsewhere.

Risk factors in a relationship

Relational factors that predispose to infidelity include:

  • Domestic violence and emotional abuse
  • Emotional and/or physical disconnection
  • Financial pressures
  • Lack of communication
  • Lack of respect
  • Low compatibility

What are the reasons why married people cheat?

The main reasons for infidelity

With or without individual or marital risk factors, there are a number of possible reasons for marital infidelity. At the base of many reasons are some clearer ones, and the most important is the role of unsatisfied needs.

One partner may be unable to meet the other's needs, although, more often than not, these needs have not been properly expressed.

Another reason is the lack of direct approach to problems. Avoiding conflicts is another crucial element in couple communication.

Some of the reasons cited as causes for infidelity may include:

Unhappiness/Dissatisfaction : Dissatisfaction with marriage, whether emotional or sexual, is quite common. Marriage is permanent work, and without mutual care, couples can drift apart. A sexless marriage is often considered a reason for both men and women.

Lack of appreciation : if one of the partners feels unappreciated or neglected, it can lead to infidelity. When both partners work, women are often responsible for household chores and child care. In this case, the adventure validates the sense of value. On the other hand, most of the time, this feeling is related more to the partner's perception than reality.

Lack of commitment : Studies have found that people who are less committed to their relationship are more likely to cheat.

Boredom : often, the reason for betrayal is the need to experience the thrill of love again, and for some of those who cheat an affair is a way to spice up their marriage.

Body Image/Aging : Frequently illustrated by stories of middle-aged men having affairs with women their daughters' age, infidelity can sometimes be a way for a man to prove he's still attractive.

Revenge : If one partner has had an affair or hurt them in some way, the other may feel the need for revenge, which leads to an affair.

In some marriages, an affair is a cry for help, a way to force the couple to finally face the problems that both parties are aware of but not addressing. In this case, the partner often tries to get caught as a way to bring the problem to the fore. Other times, one partner may simply see infidelity as an exit strategy—a way to end an unhappy marriage.

Regardless of the underlying reason a partner cheats, infidelity can either devastate a marriage or be the catalyst for rebuilding it, depending on how it's handled.

There are many potential reasons to cheat, and marriage is complicated. But direct communication, expressing the needs of both sides, practicing forgiveness, and committing to work on the marriage daily are the best known methods to protect a marriage.

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